ANENDRA SINGH | 25th June 2010

B E WARNED - you may find shades of Jonathan Swift's Brobdingnag and Lilliput in the 18th century setting of Gulliver's Travels here.

Professional basketballers David Langrell, Miles Pearce and Ben Hill are at a 21st century motel cafe in Auckland and, boy, is it payback time.

The 0800 Easy LPG Hawks big boys, having beaten the Harbour Heat in the quarterfinals on Wednesday night, are girding their loins as they wait for a flight to the capital city for tonight's semifinal against the Wellington Saints.

Again, it wasn't a complete performance but there's a general consensus the rapport between the burly forwards and plethora of guards is crucial to victory.

Nevertheless, what they think about their pocket-rocket teammates, including those who masquerade as "small forwards", isn't an issue.

No animosity or hard feelings - just some light banter.

Pearce: "What do they call people who hang around basketballers?"

SportToday: "I don't know, what?"

Pearce amid laughter: "Guards."

Hill at first resists the temptation to nibble at the bait but, it seems, he has the memory of an elephant after finding himself the butt of the guards' jokes on Tuesday.

The son of legendary Tall Black Stan Hill can't resist the temptation: "They are a bunch of pansies, to be honest.

"They are always complaining about us but they're just a bunch of cry babies," he says, adding the brain's trust causes soft fouls at practice but fail to create a dent on game days.

Grinning skipper Langrell wades in: "They are small, scrawny chaps who tend to hold the ball."

Pearce reloads: "They can be a little pain in the butt sometimes but, you know, they are small people and small people can be very annoying ... "

But make no mistake, the tall and short of it is when the witty repartee evaporates the goal of the Hawks is simple - give the Hawke's Bay fans another chance of National Basketball League glory at the Pettigrew-Green Arena, in Taradale, from Tuesday next week in the best-of-three finals.

Jon Rogers and Warrick Siddall haven't made it to the cafe but the trio are unanimous in their opinion about the Lilliput brigade - Josh Pace, Paul Henare, Everard Bartlett, Nat Connell, Jarrod Kenny, Chris Daniel and Haylen Tahau.

"I think the guard rotation we've got is the best in the country," explains Pearce, qualifying that while Tall Blacks Henare and Kenny, and Connell come off the bench but they had better pedigree than some of the guards in other NBL teams' starting fives.

"With Josh, Chris and Ev, I think we've got some really brilliant guards and I'd like to think we compliment each other pretty well."

Hill concedes the Hawks guards do some pretty good things and Langrell says they exude quality but there's a need to get the best out of each of them tonight.

But enough about the guards.

What constitutes a classy forward, Langrell?

Looking uncomfortable as they amble across the court, the mammoths of basketball are often caught sizing up their counterparts, seldom smile and rarely express pent-up emotions.

Pearce helps: "He's six [feet]/nine [inches], really good looking ... "

Langrell adds: "And has a big tattoo on his back ... "

On a serious note, Langrell feels, in a nutshell, the dream forward is rugged defensively, a great rebounder and has the skills to shoot from inside and out.

Pearce says they operate with a pack mentality. "Especially with Ben, Jon and I living together and Dave coming to the house as often as he can, so we operate as one unit. We're competitive as hell even in training."

Indubitably Langrell calls the shots on the court but the common goal is to pacify the oppositions' bully boys and disrupt the sharp shooters. Tonight it's harnessing the mongrel of Casey Frank, Lindsay Tait and Nick Hovarth, Erron Maxey and Eric Devendorf.

Hawks' self-confessed biggest bully boy Hill is comfortable with the dog collar.

"It's pretty much what I did in Waikato for 12 years and I sort of brought that here."

Moving the opposition prey from their comfort zones with some dexterity is crucial and backing down is not an option. Policing the inside shooting area as no-go zone in the mould with a street gang mentality is a prerequisite.

"Some refs let it go and some call it so you have to play to it. If they let you then just keep doing it."

He suspects he averages two to three fouls a game and Pearce endorses that, before clarifying Hill hasn't taken a five count yet this season.

"Our job is pretty much to clean up the garbage, really."

Langrell emphasises winning the rebounding battle is crucial for possession.

"Ben and I can shoot the ball from the perimeter but we need to get to the offensive boards to compete."

Tweaking "on-ball screens" to slowing down the Saints' attacking prowess is high on the agenda.

"The Saints are better than the Harbour, I think, and they have more weapons," he clarifies, adding they are more like the Hawks with nine guys who can leave the opposition hurting.

"The last time they jumped us and got on a big lead and beat us badly on the glass [backboard] so it's a big challenge for the whole team physically," Langrell says of the round 11 match at the TSB Bank Arena where the Hawks lost 103-91.

"We're under no illusions that it's a non-contact sport. It's extremely physical when you have to learn how to walk that fine line by not overstepping and getting into trouble with the refs."

The Hawks did beat the Saints 92-723 at the PG Arena but Devendorf was playing for defending champions Waikato Pistons then. The former Syracuse University teammate of Pace crossed the floor after an aftermatch night out at a Napier party saw him spend the night in the police cell.

"The big unknown factor is that Devendorf is going to be back and he's such a crucial cog for them but he hasn't played for four weeks so, hopefully, from our side of the ledger it'll cause them some continuity issues," reveals Langrell. agreeing a home final would be a godsend.

"We had a pretty terrible performance last week [the loss against Taranaki in the final regular season match].

"At a whole lot of levels it was an unmitigated disaster for the club, the financial lenders and going on the road when the friends and families wanted to see us at home.

"We didn't play our best last night [Wednesday against the Heat] but we got through. I'd love to see the boys step up and win and then head back to the Bay for the finals."

The moment of truth will be when the match tips off at 7.35pm, the same time when the Pistons will be hosting the Nelson Giants tonight at the Hamilton Boys' High School in the other semifinal.

For now, the burly boys are happy to drop their guards to resume their friendly banter.

Any concerns or matters the power forwards would like to add?

"Oh, we'll miss Jarrod when he moves to Ireland with his girlfriend," Pearce manages.

Is that right?

"Yeah, it looks that way."

Some things are best left unexplained.